On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
