i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
So vagazzling was a success
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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