and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
