You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize