At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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