dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
