I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
