remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
people are starting to question the shark bite story
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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