If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
