In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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