No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize