Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
