Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
