Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
