I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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