and i looked up. we had an audience...
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Randomize
