You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize