do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize