So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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