after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
How external is "for external use only"?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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