If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
