Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You made out with two different species that night
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
