never play flip cup with pint glasses
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
