She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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