At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
