we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
