My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
The uberlube is also flammable
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
