Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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