I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
