I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
