strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
