The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
