You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
