recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
