wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
