I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
