she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
