Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
