This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
