And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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