I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
