It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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