you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
