Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
