Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
