So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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