my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
