broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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