i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Randomize
