just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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