They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
