You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
