Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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