i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
