Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
