I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
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