what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
