but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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