I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
