We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
You brought string cheese to the strip club
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
