By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Randomize
