that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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