Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
