I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
