White coat. Heels.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
