I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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