When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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