Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Randomize
