get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
We are two peas in an std pod
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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